Reliving the past
by MRS.CULLEN1122
Summary: When Esme does something that endangers her life Carlisle is none to pleased.when Carlisle's way of punishing her makes her remember her abusive first husband Charles will she forgive Carlisle or push him away? WARNING:SPANKING & RAPE M 4 A REASON !


** A.N. This is set during breaking dawn whatever chapter Jacob comes to fight the Cullen family then he See's a very pregnant Bella . this is a Carlisle, and Esme spanking fanfic if you don't like then do NOT read. and as much as i love people adding me to their favorite author and stories list plz plz leave a comment on whether u liked it or not it would mean a lot 2 me,**

**disclaimer: I AM NOT STEPHINE MEYER **

**SLIGHTLY ****DIFFERENT TO THE CHAPTER IN BREAKING DAWN ! RATED M FOR A REASON CONTAINS SPANKING, ABUSE AND RAPE!!!!**

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Esme's p.o.v.

I stared outside of the window in the bedroom that Carlisle and I shared. I was watching the Autumn leaves that were blowing off the tree's outside our house. They were so beautiful. They were all different colors and shapes and sizes. I desperately wanted to go outside and to feel the wind on my face. Even as a child I was never an indoor kind of girl. And being cooped up inside the house because carlisle didn't want any of us to go outside was making me anxious. Edward and Jacob wanted privacy to talk. They had gone out of the house just a few minutes ago to discuss something. I was trying my best not to worry about Edward, Bella and the baby but that was impossible.

I looked across the room and tried to find something to keep me occupied. I got up to rummage through the dresser drawers dropping all the contents on the floor. I found a square piece of cardboard that was folded in half. A soft gasp escaped my mouth as I unfolded it. It was my old sketchpad that I used to draw in when I was a human. I had thought that I had lost it. Although It was a reminder of my carefree human days as a child, when I would climb up into the tree in my backyard to draw, it also brought back a painful memory of my first husband Charles. As much as I tried for forget the abusive memories of him. I couldn't. Especially now with Bella being pregnant, the littlest things like unwashed dishes in the sink,would make me think back to that first couple of mouths when I was pregnant. And the times that he beat me, I would pray to God that he wasn't harming the baby. I forced myself to not start crying. Jasper would sense my pain and then send Carlisle to console me.

I got up and brought my sketchpad over near the window. I grabbed a pencil and sat down staring at the window glass. I sighed frustrated and decided to open the window. I leaned out inhaling the fresh air. I spotted a beautiful tree that was outside the house. It was only a couple of miles from the house. I was sure that no one would notice my abstance. Carlisle was in his study looking for research on the computer. Rosalie was with Bella, Bella was sleeping, Alice was trying to serch for the baby. And jasper and emmett were trying to figure out what edward and jacob were talking about. I quickly climbed out of the window and started running towards the hunting area behind our house. I climbed up a tree that was close by the one that I wanted to draw and sat down. I started flipping through the pages of my drawing pad. I knew that there was only one picture that I cared about, It was a drawing of carlisle. And the memory of the day that I drew it was something that I could never forget.

_flashback....( This contains Domestic abuse, spanking and rape.)_

_It was exactly 8 o'clock... Charles would be home in 2 hours. It was a Friday night and there was no doubt in my mind that he would be returning home drunk. I got up from the bed and winced at the effort it took. I walked over to the vanity mirror and pulled out my makeup bag and tried to disguise the black eye and large hand mark on my cheek. Last night had been pretty bad I had fallen asleep before I had a chance to make dinner and when Charles came home he was furious. He raped me that night. I hoped that tonight He would be too tired or drunk to do it again._

_I went into the kitchen, put dinner in the oven and looked around the house not knowing what to do. The house was already spotless, the laundry was folded and put away. But there always seemed to be a reason for Charles to beat me. He wasn't always that way, Although my parents all but forced me into marrying him, in the short month or two that we dated he was sweet, handsome and caring. I really thought that I loved him, and when he asked me to marry him I agreed..I realize now that marrying him was a horrible decision. I sat down on the floor and started to cry. I never pictured my life like this. I had always wanted to be a teacher, and when I did marry I wanted it to be for love, but I didn't even know who I was anymore._

_I went into the bedroom and lifted up the mattress and got my sketchbook out. Drawing helped pass the time and when I was doing it, It seemed like I was escaping from everything and everyone. Nothing else mattered. I wondered on what I should draw and then set the pencil down on the paper and drew the only man that had been kind to me, who had listened to me as I told him what I wanted to do with my life and acutally made it seem like it was possible, who had stolen my heart when I first looked at him, Dr. Carlisle Cullen._

_An hour later..._

_The doorbell rang, and although my drawing was almost complete I put it on the floor, and went to open the door. My eyes widened in shock It was charles and he was home early. He walked inside and grabbed the top of my arms while kissing me roughly on my lips. Surprisingly he didn't smell like alcohol, He pulled back and smiled at me." Hello Esme, how was your day?" He walked over towards the kitchen table and sat down. I walked quickly to the oven and pulled out the lasagna I was making and set it on a plate." Fine Charles and how was yours?" I bit my lip hopeing that the food wasn't burnt. He stabbed it with a fork and put it in his mouth. " Great Esme, it was terrific, listening to people whine for 10 hours straight at the bank and then when work is finally over finding out that the bar is closed." He got up from his chair and I held my breath waiting for him to slap me. His eyes narrowed as he looked at me "And where the hell are my cigarettes?!" He yelled. I stammered a bit not knowing where they were myself." u um.. I'm not sure Charles." I kept my head low not looking at him."Oh." He said surprised."Yes, you wouldn't know I just got them yesterday. There in the bedroom." He walked torwards the bedroom and I gasped in horror... My sketchpad was in there._

_I stood frozen to where I was. I prayed that Charles would somehow not see it. I took a deep breath and went into the bedroom. In Charles's hand was the sketchbook. His face was murderous. "What the hell is this?!" He yelled."Its a drawing." I said softly. He threw it on the floor and walked over to me. he grabbed my chin in his hand forcing me to look up at him. Tears were already coming down my face. He slapped me so hard that I was on the floor. My hand went up to my mouth and I saw that there was blood on it. Charles crouched down next to me and pulled me up. "Esme Anne Evenson, you are my wife, you are supposed to clean the house, cook, do every thing I tell you to do and to please me. So why were you wasting your time drawing?" His voice was harsh and low. I looked up at him letting my anger show. " I don't know Charles, maybe to just remind myself that the man that I drew is someone that you will never be. Someone who wouldn't hurt me to make himself seem powerful. Someone who I actually love!" I screamed at him and ran to the door. He grabbed a fistfulll of my hair and yanked it back. I screamed out in pain as he took my arm and threw me onto the bed._

_I rolled over onto my back breathing heavily and sobbing. There was no way I could fight him off and my outburst just now had sent him off the edge. I turned my head so I could look at him. He was smiling to himself as he undid his belt and wrapped half of it around his hand." You know esme that was an interesting little speech you just gave." He went into the closet to get the rope that was on the top shelf. " And it's sad because we've been married for 3 months now and it seems like to me that you haven't learned your place yet." I struggled as he flipped me so i was on my stomach. Charles binded the rope around my hands and tied it to the bed frame. " When I was a kid my father used to spank my mother if she did anything he didn't approve of and guess what Esme?... I'm going to do the same thing to you. Because I quite frankly didn't like the fact that you spent your time drawing pictures when you should have been doing something usefull... and the way that you talked to me after I asked you a simple question."_

_I started to cry all over again. After all the things Charles had done this was the most humiliating. It made me think back to the times when my father would spank me for misbehaving. But this was different. I hadn't done anything, all I had done was simply tell the truth and now I was going to be spanked for his sick twisted pleasure. I shut my eyes and prayed that this would be over soon. He lifted up my dress and underwear and then started to spank me. I screamed so loud that it hurt my own ears as Charles mercilessly brought down the strap over and over again. He paused for the shortest of seconds saying that his hand hurt and the continued to whip me . When he finally did stop, I felt his hands roaming over my backside and then I felt something enter it. I yelled out in pain as he thrust forward, completely unaware that I was pleading him to pain was excruciating, I soon felt something warm and sticky run down my legs. It seemed endless until he pulled out, dressed and left the room not even bothering to untie me. I looked around the room, and saw the sketchpad that was open to my drawing. I was certain that Carlisle would never do anything like that to me, because he would never hurt me the way Charles did._

_End flashback_

I smelled carlisle's scent as soon as I finished reminiscing. Carlisle embraced me in a hug, and I clung onto him never wanting to let go. I was so gratefull that he wanted me and loved me. "Hello Dear." I smiled as I broke the hug to look at his beautiful face. He frowned " Esme Anne Cullen what have I told you about going outside?" I looked down ashamed for worrying him. "That I wasn't allowed to go without someone with me." I looked up at him hopeful for forgiveness. " Yes that's correct Esme but i'm surprised, you seem to remember that rule now, but you forgot it when you were inside." I bit my lip. I hated it when he was upset with me. " I'm sorry Carlisle I didn't mean to worry you." He leaned back against the tree and folded his arms across his chest " Yes well you did."I walked over to him and took his hand in mine. "I'm really sorry Carlisle. What more do you want me to say?" He put his arm around my waist and pulled me torwards him. "Your right I'm sorry I was just overreacting please forgive me. " I smiled " Theres nothing to forgive." I looked around the forest noticing that it was almost dark out. " Esme, you need to hunt." Carlisle had a very concerned look on his face. " I'm fine Carlisle, we should go soon, it's getting dark." I was about to run to the house when Carlisle blocked my path. He put his arms around my neck and looked me in the eye " Hunt now doctor's orders." I started giggling as ran torwards the elk's nearby, with Carlisle behind me.

As soon as I was finished with hunting. My nose wrinkled in disgust. There was an awful smell and I looked over at Carlisle for an answer. "Wearwolf." He said soflty. He grabbed my hand. "Let's go." He led me all around the forest leaving false tracks for it to follow. I had a hard time keeping up with Carlisle, because he was so much faster than me. I stopped running and he looked at me like I was crazy. " Esme why did you stop running come on we have to go " He said urgently. I had forgotten my sketchpad. " I'll be right back!" I told Carlisle quickly, and then ran as fast as I could possibly go. Knowing that if he caught up to me he would force me to turn around and forget it. I finally reached to were I was earlier and I looked around for the sketchpad. Papers were scattered around everywhere. I saw the picture of Carlisle and went go grab it from the bushes. And then I came face to face with a werewolf.

I stumbled back in shock. I didn't know whether I should run or not, and it didn't look angry. Carlisle made sure that I kept my distance from them during the training and the fight in the clearing of the newborns. This was the closet's I've ever been to a werewolf. "Hello?" I waved my hand slightly."Um... you'r Seth. right?" I remembered that he was the one who helped Edward kill Victoria and Riley. He nodded his head and ran in the other direction behind the bushes. I raised my eyebrow in surprise and bent down to pick up the picture. I turned around and saw that carlisle was running towards me. He grasped my arm's and shook me slightly." What the did you think you'r doing !? You could have been killed!" He yelled at me... He didn't give me a chance to answer as he pulled me behind himself, as Seth came out of the bushes in his human form.

" Hey Carlisle, Esme, sorry if I scared you guys earlier. And I know that I'm not supposed to be on you all's land and stuff but..." I peered over Carlisle's waist to look at him. " That's alright Seth, you're always welcomed here... but is everything okay?" He ran his fingers through his hair while looking down at his feet. " Well.. no not exactly.." I listened in horror as Seth began explaining what the pack had wanted to do with the baby. " Carlisle grip on me tightened when Seth explained that they would have destroyed anyone who tried to protect Bella. When he finished telling us the whole thing. Seth shifted into his wolf form to begin running patrol with Jacob. And we ran to the house. Everyone was waiting outside. Alice came up to me and embraced me in a hug. " You ok mom?" I smiled slightly to reassure her. "yeah, Alice i'm fine... Is Bella alright, Does she know?" She shook her head. " She's asleep, Edward's with her." She stared off into space for a few seconds obviously seeing something. She looked at Carlisle and then at me. her face was nervous." Um Emmett, jasper, Rosalie come to the garage with me for a second." Rosalie crossed her arms and stared down at Alice. "I'm not leaving Bella." Emmett groaned and took rose's arm walking to the garage, jasper followed.

"Um.. What was that about?" I turned to look at Carlisle. "Nothing Esme, Inside please?" He motioned with his finger to the house. I went inside and paused in the living room where I saw Edward holding Bella's hand humming the lullaby he composed for her, while she slept. Carlisle came up to me and touched the small of my back. "Esme, will you go upstairs and wait for me ?" I went into the bedroom and reached into my pocket getting out the picture. I smoothed it out and put it on the dresser. Carlisle came inside the room and sat on the bed. " Esme come here we need to talk." He said in a serious voice. I slowly made my way to Carlisle and sat down next to him. He held both of my hands and looked me in the eye. He sighed. "You know you could have been killed ? If that werewolf hadn't been Seth what would you had done? If it was the pack do you think they would have thought twice before killing you!?" He was nearly screaming at me. It was a good thing that the walls were soundproof to humans. "Of course not Carlisle, If it wasn't Seth, then I would have fought the wolfs. I'm not as helpless as you think I am !" His expression was amused. " Really?" I was beginning to get angry with him. " Yes really! And if I remember correctly Carlisle Cullen you arn't much of a fighter yourself !" His rolled his eyes. " You misunderstood I said I didn't like to fight, not that I couldn't. And your missing the point Esme." I was tired of this conversation. " And what is the point ?" I asked annoyed. His eyes narrowed. " That what you did was wrong and you are going to be punished."

" Punished?" I could barely get the word out. " Yes Esme." He said sadly. " You did something reckless that endangered your life. You should have thought of the consequences of what would happen." I looked down. " And how are you going to punish me ?" I asked softly knowing the answer already. He occasionally spanked our children when he thought that it was necessary. But he had never spanked me before because I had never done anything to deserve one. " How do you you think ?" He said clearly annoyed. I stood up from the bed and backed away from him. I started to panic. "Please, don't do this." I couldn't take it if he did to me what Charles had done." Surly you've gotten spanked before?" He asked me surprised. "Yes... but by my father, not you !" I said carfully not wanting Charles's name to slip out. I had never told carlisle all the details of my first marriage. He stood up, "Then what are you so afraid of?" I stared at him in shock the answer was obvious. " you'll hurt me...You've never hurt me before." I said quietly. He hugged me and tried to calm me down. "Esme, don't you think you deserve to be disciplined. You disobeyed me and you worried me to death out there. Dont you feel guilty at all?" I was alarmed. " Yes Carlisle I never ment to worry you." He smiled a little. " Then that's why I'm going to spank you Esme, to take away your guilt, to make sure you never do something like that again, and to make my point across." He took my arm as he walked to the bed and sat down. I stood still until Carlisle positioned me in his lap. I started to sob. " Please, I'll never disobey you again. Just please dont do this!" He acted as if I hadn't said anything as he lifted down my pants and then my panties. I tried to get up out of his lap but then he took my arms and pinned them to my back.

SMACK! The fist blow landed on my exposed backside. and I cried out in pain. This was a thousand times worse then Charles's. He continued to punish my backside with so much strength I never knew existed. I started kicking my feet an attempt to get out of the spanking but as soon as I started that only landed me faster and harder smacks then before. It seemed like my butt was on fire. " Esme you are never to do anything like that again ! You could have been killed or seriously hurt ! What where you thinking!?" He stated spanking rhythmically hitting every spot of uncovered flesh." Esme, I love you so much I hope you understand why this is necessary, I don't like hurting you but I will if it makes you listen to me." He accelerated each word with a forcefull smack, and then stopped spanking me he pulled me in a tight embrace and didnt let go. " Esme please dont cry anymore, it's over... I'm so sorry I had to do that. It's all over now..." I stopped sobbing trying to be able to get words out of my mouth. " You're just like him!" I exclaimed and started sobbing all over again. I had never since I'd known him been afraid of Carlisle but now I was. He had hurt me just as easily as Charles had, and would do it again. " Who Esme?" He looked at me confused, " Charles! He spanked me before I just never mentioned it... He did it because I was drawing a picture of you, and then he raped me i'm just glad you didn't do that !" I couldn't stop sobbing. I looked away from carlisle, because of the painfull expression on his face. " Esme... I'm so sorry if I reminded you of him but you should know that I would NEVER take advantage of you like that." He whispered."I... understand if you don't forgive me." And with saying that he took me off his lap and walked out the door.

I sat there on the bed in shock. I couldn't believe what I had just said. How could I have been so... heartless to say that Carlisle was like Charles. He was nothing like him. Carlisle cared about me and loved me. Of course i was mad at carlisle for spanking me but it was wrong for me to say that. The only reason why carlisle had spanked me was because he wanted to protect me and keep me safe. I threw on my jeans and ran down the stairs to get carlisle he was halfway out the door to the house,when I ran into him knocking both of us over. He was on his back and I was on top off him "I just wanted to say that I'm the most horrible wife in existence to compare you to Charles and I wanted you to know that I love you more than my own life and that-" He silenced me with a long and passionate kiss. " I love you Esme." He said looking deep into my eyes while tucking a strand of my wavy hair back into place. I put my head on his shoulder and looked at him. " I know that's why my ass is on fire !" He chuckled kissed me again I held on to him not wanting this perfect moment to end.

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**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING I HOPE YOU LIKE IT AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEWWW !!!!!!!**


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